I mentioned earlier that writing is important to me. I keep a blog on my therapist website that’s mostly about topics I think potential clients/patients would be interested in learning about, or things that might draw people to me. I’ve never written anything specific about my strength training, weightlifting, or CrossFit experiences there- that is, until a couple of months ago.
I read a short essay from a therapist who recently tried CrossFit. It was a beautiful piece (it’s linked here); well written and captivating.
It pissed me off.
I felt something red-hot and fiery brew inside like a hot fermented beverage about to pop. ENVY, yep, that’s what it was. I felt envy.
I’ve been doing CrossFit for nearly a decade, I thought to myself. And here she is, four months in, saying all the things I WANT TO SAY!
And that’s when I realized: These are the things I want to say. Envy, it turns out, is a powerful motivator. It lit a fire under my ass straight to my keyboard.
In 20 minutes, I wrote a blog post called “Snatches and Psychoanalysis: The Mental Life of Weightlifting” that is by far one of my favorite pieces of all time. It was the kind of writing that came so fluidly because it had been waiting for me to set it free.
Thanks, other therapist. And thanks, envy, for showing me what I really wanted!
For me, lifting is SO much about my mental game. Weightlifting and strength sports are the playing field where I put so much of my self-learning to the test. And as much as I can prepare for a contest, the anxiety and nerves during competition are a force to be reckoned with.
I hope I can harness this feeling of envy, commitment, and knowing what I want on competition day….